Famous Authors, Rejected
The New Yorker«Dear Mr. Homer, thank you for coming into the office last week and performing your epic poem. Unfortunately, we do not buy books based on pitches. We think your story is very interes—no, actually we don’t.»

From Weekly Filet #87, in August 2014.
💔 Some older links might be broken — that's the state of the web, sadly. If you find one, ping me.